Children's Literature

_A list of children's books you probably won't find on the shelves this year.


Daddy Doesn’t Hate You, He Just Doesn’t Know You Exist
-- A discussion of birds and bees and the mistakes they make.

Imaginary Monsters
-- How to make a problem go away by pretending it isn’t real.

Big Brother’s Time Out
-- Timmy's older brother borrowed a car without asking and will be in time out for the next 3 to 5.

Nose Candy
-- Uncle Ricky comes to visit and brings his special energy sugar.

The Secret Land Under the Stairs
-- Suzie learns that when she’s hiding in the closet under the stairs, it’s harder to hear mommy and daddy yell at each other.

Grandma’s Last Magic Trick
-- The intricacies of how we all eventually disappear forever.

Deep Inside the Crystal Caverns
-- Hobo Jim’s adventures with methamphetamine.

Don’t Drink From Mommy’s Sippy Cup, It’s Filled With Poison and Only Big Kids Have the Antidote
-- An introduction to the reasons Mommy gets grumpy and takes long naps on the kitchen floor.

She only reads Bret Easton Ellis novels.