Tillery Johnson
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Jonah and the Whale

_Jonah: Dude! You will never guess where I’ve been for the last three days.
David: On a coke binge at the brothel?
Jonah: What?! No. Where’d you get that?
David: Just a wild guess.
Jonah: No. I… was inside a whale’s stomach!
David: That’s crazy. I’d never have guessed that. Just like last time I didn’t guess that you had been inside a brontosaurus for three days.
Jonah: What can I say? Some people just have wild lives.
David: It appears that way.
Jonah: So anyway. This whale was massive. I felt around in the dark for fish to eat. Just trying to survive.
David: Oh, this reminds me of something. Man gets swallowed by giant whale, gets out by… Did you happen to tickle the whale until he sneezed you out?
Jonah: What? No.
David: Are you Pinocchio?
Jonah: Ha… ha
David: I’m just kidding. What happened next?
Jonah: Well, I’m not telling it now.
David: Come on. For a second there I thought I was in a children’s fairy tale.
Jonah: Whatever, man. If you’re just going to make fun of me, I can leave.
David: I’m joking. But seriously, this is even better than that time you were abducted by aliens and you couldn’t sit down because…
Jonah: Just drop it.
David: …because they probed you so much, and… and…
Jonah: Fine. I was doing lines off the new Russian girl they got at the brothel. Just don't say anything to my wife this time.
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